Navigating Newborn Sleep
If you’re reading this and currently expecting or just welcomed a new little one into your family, congratulations and big hugs to you! Before you keep reading, take a pause and a deep breath, you are already doing a beautiful job!
In order to talk about realistic expectations for newborn sleep, we first have to chat about their biological needs from a scientific perspective. I love the quote by Dr. Donald Winnicott (pediatrician) who states, “There is no such thing as a baby, there is a baby and someone.” It exemplifies the importance of the mother-baby dyad and this is a critical componant of understanding a newborn’s sleep needs.
A Newborn’s Needs
All mammals instinctively remain close to their young. Our babies would not survive for very long without warmth, food, protection, and psychological nourishment that mothers and caregivers provide. Their developing brains are wired to keep us close for survival.
Primate mammals, like humans, monkeys, apes, etc. are also carrying species. Human milk contains more water and sugar, less protein, and about 10-20% less fat than milk of mammals that are referred to as nesting species (they feed and leave babies). Since human milk is lower in calories, fat and protein, there needs to be shorter intervals between feeds. Fat is what keeps us nutritionally satiated and full, so after nursing, human babies may be hungry 1-2 hours before they need to eat again (contrary to what caregivers are often told which is to feed the baby every 2-3 hours). It is always best to tune into your baby and pay attention to their hunger cues, but it is very common and normal for infants to nurse quite a bit in the day and night. A lactation consultant is a great support for you for any lactation questions, but this is a very large reason that babies wake frequently at night in the newborn days and possibly beyond.
Rather than being tucked away somewhere else, infants prefer to be close to their Mother or primary caregiver to stay close to their food source.
Beyond the feeding component, at birth, the human infant's brain is 25% of their adult brain size, which is less than any other mammal. Humans do not reach 100% of their adult brain size until their later adolescent years. Humans in comparison to other mammals take quite a long time to develop. This is a part of why physical contact is so important between a caregiver and their children. It enables neurological growth to occur. Infants are not biologically designed or prepared physiologically to be separated from their Mother’s.
It is very natural and normal for your baby to become alarmed when they are not near you or touching you. Physical contact regulates body temperature, heart rate and respiration, increases frequency of breastfeeding which provides the baby with antibodies to protect from illness, and helps release endorphins that help a baby’s immature gut better absorb calories they need for growth. It is only through physical contact and their senses that babies attach to their caregivers in the first year of life.
Therefore in making the connection between infant sleep and biological needs, it is really important to remember that infants are by design contact seekers, they should be dependent on their parents and caregivers for contact and closeness. It is paramount to their growth and maturity.
What does all of this mean for sleep?
That in the first 4-6 months of life:
You should expect your baby to wake at night. It could be only a couple times or it could be every 90 minutes - 2 hours. This will vary baby to baby and it will change with time!
You should expect them to feed frequently day and night.
You should expect that they may want to sleep directly on you or prefer to be right next to you so they can still smell you or see you.
You should expect that they may protest being separated from you and they will be happiest and most content wrapped up in your body or in the same space as you. This means that most babies will not take their longest naps in cribs and bassinets, and they will need a lot of support to go to sleep. You may have to wait to transfer them to their separate sleep space after they have entered deep sleep.
“Drowsy but awake” may work for some easy going babies, but it isn’t going to work for most, so you don’t need to waste your precious energy trying it if you don’t want to or if it does not seem like it’s working for your baby. Your baby does not need to go to sleep awake in order to sleep. Your baby was sleeping in utero and will continue to do it out of utero just fine as long as they get the support from you they need to feel safe.
In the first 8-12 weeks, your baby may have longer periods of sleep in the daytime versus the nighttime. This is called day and night confusion and the reason for this is that their circadian rhythm does not develop until 8-12 weeks. In order to help with this and to move things along, it is best to get your baby outside in full spectrum sunlight early in the morning or anytime throughout the day! If the weather is not conducive or ideal, you can have them nap inside by windows where natural light comes in. Get them in as much natural light as you can in the daytime and then keep the bedtime space and night space darker. Using pink, orange, and red light tones for night feeding ( I personally just love a pink salt lamp as the feeding light)!
Newborns may also move a lot and may make a decent amount of noise during their sleep due to spending much of their night sleep in active sleep cycles phases.
Finally, please know that sleep is a biological function of the body. It cannot be taught, trained, or forced. As they grow and develop, their sleep cycles and circadian clock will mature too. We cannot change the natural course of development, but we can choose to support them and meet their needs in order to lay a strong and reliable foundation for sleep to come. Deep dependence fosters independence.
If you enjoyed this blog post, consider the following for more support:
If you have trouble staying calm and regulated during long or tough nights, please download my free mantras for a tough night pdf and keep headphones and calming music nearby to plug in when you need some quick support.
If you are curious about the connection behind attachment and sleep, consider purchasing my attachment webinar replay for a 60 min deeper dive into how attachment is fostered in the first few years of life.
If you find yourself struggling with your newborns sleep or questioning yourself or your baby, I would love to chat with you in the newborn sleep education call I offer. I can help you to feel more confident with how you are approaching your little one’s sleep, and if needed, investigate any challenges or concerns you may have through my holistic and thorough approach to infant sleep.
Remember you are exactly who your little one needs, just as you are.
xx,
Katie